‍ST. PETERSBURG, FL — Residents around Lake Maggiore reported Monday that a mysterious man, described only as “middle-aged, wearing Crocs, and floating silently on a pool noodle,” has been repeatedly spotted in the lake and adjacent retention ponds — behavior that has allegedly driven away every alligator in the area.

“He just stands waist-deep in the water at sunset, those Crocs glowing in the last bit of light, and the gators scatter like they’ve seen a ghost,” said Denise Whitaker, who lives near Lakewood Estates. “Normally you can’t walk the shoreline without seeing half a dozen big ones sunning themselves. But since he showed up? Nothing. They’re gone.”

Witnesses claim the man’s footwear emits a strange power. Several locals reported that when he slowly slips his Crocs off and claps them together, the sound reverberates across the water like a rifle shot, sending even the largest reptiles thrashing into the mangroves.

“It ain’t natural,” said Carl Jacobs, a fisherman who frequents the lake. “I saw him float face-down for an hour without moving. The gators circled once, then bolted like they were late for church. I don’t know if he’s a man, a spirit, or some kind of Croc god.”

Authorities confirmed they’ve received multiple calls about the sightings but said “technically, there’s no law against haunting Lake Maggiore in rubber footwear.”

Wildlife officials are baffled.
“Alligators are apex predators,” said Florida Fish and Wildlife biologist Dana Kravitz. “But Crocs are… the apex footwear. Maybe they see him as one of their own. Or maybe they just understand true dominance when they see it.

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