In a historic and mildly confusing decision, the City of St. Petersburg has officially recognized pickleball as an organized religion, granting its devotees the right to assemble, proselytize, and, of course, argue over questionable line calls without legal interference.

The ruling comes after years of lobbying by the Dinkoists, a loosely organized but highly enthusiastic congregation that meets daily—sometimes hourly—at the Crescent Lake pickleball courts, now considered the movement’s primary holy site.

“These courts, even with their ever-growing cracks and warped baselines, are sacred,” said devotee Steve , who was seen blessing a freshly opened pink headband.  “The cracks? We don’t repair them. We interpret them. They are divine imperfections that we endure in the spirit of fellowship.”

Crescent Lake has quickly become a pilgrimage destination, drawing pickleball faithful from across the country. On any given morning, lines of RVs, bikes and paddle-wielding pedestrians can be seen circling the park, hoping to catch a glimpse of the sacred courts or score a game with a pro.

There are reports that construction of a shrine made entirely of discarded pickleball paddles is underway near the edge of the courts, though project leaders say it may take years to complete due to ongoing disputes about using delaminated paddles in the structure.

Entrepreneurs have seized the opportunity, with vendors now setting up stalls around the perimeter selling game worn sweatbands, Saint Rettenmeier T-shirts and relics fashioned from cracked pickleballs.

In accordance with the new religious status, the city will now recognize "The Bad Calls Podcast" as a formal weekly sermon. The podcast, hosted by veteran local players Travis, Graham and Luke, helps followers, called Baddies, make sense of the sometimes chaotic pickleverse.

“Each episode is really more of a theological exploration,” said Brenda, who listens to the trio on repeat as she sleeps. “What is out? What is in? Who really knows? It’s about asking the deeper questions.”

As it seems to be human nature, the newly canonized Pickleball Faith is already seeing offshoot sects form, particularly an ultratraditionalist group that believes rally scoring is evil and the work of the Hook, the devil figure in Dinkoism.

City officials seem content to embrace the phenomenon. “Honestly, if people want to believe in the sacred bounce and they’re spending money at the coffee shops while they’re here, we’re fine with it,” said St. Pete Parks and Recreation liaison Pete Pierson, adding “when they start offering personality tests from downtown storefronts, then we'll take a closer look."