Following reports of a nationwide Cyclospora outbreak linked to contaminated iceberg lettuce, including Taco Bell's voluntary removal of lettuce from many menu items as a precaution, Pinellas County customers said they never realized anything was wrong because explosive diarrhea had always been part of the dining experience.

Health officials say the parasite can cause severe diarrhea, stomach cramps, fatigue and nausea, prompting Taco Bell to remove implicated lettuce while investigators traced the source.

Local diners, however, struggled to identify which gastrointestinal event they were supposed to be concerned about.

"I got home, sprinted to the bathroom, questioned every decision I'd made that day," said St. Pete resident Kyle Morgan. "Then I saw the news and thought, 'Wait... that wasn't supposed to happen this time?'"

Doctors say Cyclospora symptoms can last for weeks if untreated, but dinners are unimpressed. "I've never eaten Taco Bell expecting to accomplish anything productive afterward," said one customer while sipping Baja Blast. "That's my evening."

The company voluntarily removed lettuce from affected menu items after investigators linked shredded iceberg lettuce from a supplier to a multistate outbreak. Executives reportedly worried eliminating lettuce would hurt sales. Instead, many customers expressed surprise that Taco Bell had lettuce to begin with.

"I'm gonna be honest," said one Gulfport resident. "I didn't know they offered salads."

Restaurant employees reported that they rarely get most of the lettuce on the tacos anyway, and more or less just throw the lettuce and other vegetable around the wrapper or sprinkle it into the to-go bags to just wilt at the bottom under the napkins.

Public health officials urged consumers to seek medical attention if symptoms became severe or persisted beyond the normal course of foodborne illness. Several Taco Bell expressed that that they weren't entirely sure how to delineate standard Taco Bell diarrhea from Cyclkospora diarrhea

"My stomach has been negotiating with Taco Bell since 2009," one man explained. "If there's a parasite in there, it'll never survive the ecosystem I've cultivated in there."

Some customers even questioned whether removing the lettuce would fundamentally alter the Taco Bell experience.

"It'll still be 98% cheese, beef-adjacent material," one diner said. "I think we'll survive. But as a precaution, I will be dousing my tacos in at least 6 Diablo hot sauce packets to kill off any potential parasite."

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