ST. PETERSBURG, FL — In a unanimous vote this week, Florida lawmakers officially designated red tide as the state’s official flower, citing its “year-round resilience, vibrant color palette, and ability to kill fish with just one whiff.”

The decision comes after years of debate between conservationists, tourism boards, and lawmakers looking for a state symbol that “accurately represents daily life in the Gulf Coast.”

“Every time I open my front door and start coughing, I’m reminded of the natural beauty of our state,” said Rep. Linda Buckley (R–Pinellas), who sponsored the bill. “Sure, hibiscus is pretty, but does it really capture Florida’s essence like choking on airborne toxins while watching thousands of mullet float belly-up?”

Local florists praised the move, saying the recognition finally legitimizes their seasonal “red tide arrangements,” which feature seashells, wilted seaweed, and a strong odor of rot.

Meanwhile, the Florida Tourism Board is already rolling out new marketing campaigns with slogans like “Come for the Beaches, Stay Because Your Rental Car Won’t Start Through the Dead Fish Sludge.”

While some residents expressed concerns about glorifying a toxic algae bloom, others argued the choice was overdue.

“Red tide is Florida,” said longtime St. Pete fisherman Tony DeLuca. “It’s colorful, it’s suffocating, it kills everything in its path—honestly, I’d vote for it for governor if I could.”

The bill also establishes the annual “Bloom Festival,” during which schoolchildren will be required to hold their breath and run down Central Avenue while waving fish skeletons in the air.

Environmental activists, however, remain divided. “Yes, red tide symbolizes climate change, pollution, and decades of failed water management,” said Sierra Club spokesperson Marcy Latham. “But honestly, it still feels less toxic than the state legislature.”

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