ST. PETERSBURG — A St. Pete woman isat the center of a growing interpersonal crisis after allegedly spending anentire afternoon at the beach without posting a single photo.

Emily Garza, 29, reportedly packed acooler, applied SPF 30, and walked the length of Pass-a-Grille—but failed toproduce even a single sunset pic, drink-in-hand selfie, or captionlesspanoramic story with Jack Johnson playing faintly in the background.

Family and friends are reeling.

“She says she went,” saidcousin Marissa, “but I’ve scrolled her Instagram twice. No wide-brim hat. Notide-chasing feet. Not even a ‘Vitamin Sea’ pun. It’s deeply suspicious.”

Sources close to Garza claim theouting was meant to be a “phone-free recharge,” a phrase many of them describedas “dubious.”

The situation escalated when Garzatexted the family group chat, “Had a great beach day!” with zero supportingevidence. Her father replied with a single thumbs-up emoji and later admittedhe “didn’t believe a word of it.”

Theories began to swirl. Was she at adog beach with no dog? Was it actually Coquina Key Park? Did she justdrive to a Publix parking lot and play wave sounds on YouTube?

Digital forensics offered littleclarity. Her last known location was a Dunkin’ on 4th St N. The trail goes coldafter that.

In an effort to verify herwhereabouts, a task force of amateur aunties has begun scanning beach cams forany visual confirmation.

“All we’re asking is a littlepeace sign by a dune fence,” said her mother, who now suspects Emily has “nevereven liked the beach at all.”

As of press time, Emily maintains herstory and insists it was “actually really nice to be present in the moment.”

The public remains unconvinced.

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