ST. PETERSBURG, FL —City officials are rolling out part of their new resiliency plan ahead of hurricane season: more sandbags. But not just any sandbags—girthier sandbags.

At distribution sites across St. Petersburg, residents queue up in their SUVs, sedans, dune buggies, and golf carts to load up on the city’s storm defense strategy. “This year, we aren’t taking any chances,” said Deputy Mayor of Preventative Piling, Derek Mathis, while reassuringly patting a freshly filled sack. “There are more bags than in previous years. More. Bags.”

Indeed. Not only has the number of sandbags skyrocketed, but the city has innovated in the realm of sandbag girth, an often-overlooked metric that’s usually used to describe the circumferences of a horse’s waist.

“We increased the girth by 25%,” confirmed Kendall Lee, Sandbag Distribution Manager and sandbag advocate. “They’re bigger, better, and sandier. Frankly, we’ve never seen sand containment at this scale. It’s historic—historic sandbags for historic storms.”

The bags have drawn mixed reactions from the public. Some question whether the new measures will actually protect low-lying neighborhoods from another deluge, or just create a moat system for alligators.

“I mean, they’re big bags of sand,” said local critic and amateur taxidermist Trent Wallace. “We’re fighting climate change with loose sediment and sentiment.”

Others, however, remain staunchly loyal to the status quo. “I’ve been sandbagging my whole life,” said longtime Old Southeast resident and chain-smoker Marlene Bixby. “My daddy sandbagged, his daddy sandbagged, and by God, I’ll sandbag ‘til the Gulf takes me.”

City officials have hinted that future resiliency efforts may include extra-tall sandbags. The extra-tall sandbags would be a collaborative partnership with 7-11 convenience stores’ Big Gulp Department, who are negotiating with the city to name the next major storm after their new slushie flavor “Blueberry Mango Chiller,” in exchange for tall bags.

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