TREASURE ISLAND, FL — The Treasure Island Police Department confirmed Sunday that another undercover officer assigned to infiltrate the weekly drum circle has “gone native,” abandoning law enforcement duties to pursue what he reportedly called his “true calling.”

The officer, whose identity remains withheld, was last seen shirtless and aggressively shaking a maraca while chanting.

This marks the third undercover defection in as many months. Officials say the beach gathering has proven uniquely dangerous — not because of crime, but because of its seductive atmosphere of tie-dye, barefoot freedom.

“We send them in to monitor beach ordinance violations, and they come out with a new spiritual name,” said Police Chief John Barkley. “At this point, we’re considering whether bongos should be classified as controlled substances.”

According to sources, the most recent defector had filed a report just days before disappearing, noting:

• “Infiltrated inner circle, accepted as ‘Brother Sunbeam’ after 12-minute solo.”
• “Subjective experience: overwhelming sense of belonging.”
• “Recommendation: department should consider investing in hula hoops.”

The report abruptly ends with the word “VIBEZZZZZ” scribbled across six pages.

Local residents say they’re not surprised. “Once you lock eyes with a guy slapping a djembe under the sunset, you’re never the same,” said Treasure Island native Crystal Dawn, while painting a mandala on her cooler.

Meanwhile, the police union has requested hazard pay for any officer assigned to drum circle duty, citing “high risk of groove assimilation.”

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