ST. PETERSBURG, FL — Tyrone Square Mall officials confirmed Saturday that the mall’s Santa Claus has been working extended hours after an unexpected surge in adults bypassing the traditional children’s line to sit on his lap and plead directly for financial relief.

Witnesses say parents began quietly edging their children aside shortly after noon, clutching coffee cups, mortgage statements, and the thousand-yard stare of people who have done the math and didn’t like the answer.

“At first we thought they were just helping their kids up,” said mall security guard Anthony Perez. “Then a grown man in a Rays hoodie fully boxed out a 6-year-old, sat down, and whispered, ‘Santa, I don’t need much. I just need my credit card interest rate to stop growing.’”

By midafternoon, the line had visibly split into two groups: confused children holding handwritten lists for toys, and increasingly desperate adults rehearsing quiet speeches about rent, insurance premiums, and the concept of ever retiring.

Mall staff reported that several parents physically lifted their own children off Santa’s lap mid-wish, replacing them with themselves while muttering things like, “Daddy just needs one minute” and “This is more important right now.”

“I told my daughter she could ask Santa for a doll later,” said local parent Melissa Grant, adjusting herself on Santa’s knee. “Right now Mommy needs to know if she’ll still have a house in March.”

The Santa, identified as 67-year-old retiree Dennis Whitaker, appeared visibly strained but committed.

“Usually kids want bikes or video games,” Whitaker said during a short break, rubbing his temples. “Today it’s adjustable-rate mortgages, health insurance deductibles, and one woman who just cried for a full thirty seconds and asked if I could ‘do anything about groceries.’”

According to witnesses, Santa responded to most adults by nodding gravely, offering a candy cane, and saying, “I’ll see what I can do,” before being immediately sat on again by the next parent in line.

Children in the queue expressed confusion and frustration.

“I wanted a Nintendo,” said 7-year-old Tyler Jenkins, who had been waiting for nearly an hour. “But my mom said Santa needs to help with ‘the economy’ first.”

Mall management attempted to intervene by creating a separate line for adults, but the effort collapsed when parents began arguing that their requests were “technically for the children” and therefore should still count.

At press time, Santa was reportedly scheduled to stay late after closing, as a group of parents quietly formed a new line holding envelopes labeled “student loans,” “car payment,” and “just please.”

Mall officials confirmed the Santa will return tomorrow, though they admitted he may need a second chair, a stronger back, and “possibly a CPA.”

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