“I was in Old Northeast for 10 minutes and someone offered me homemade sourdough. I said I live in Kenwood. We are now blood enemies apparently.”

“The bartender at Mandarin Hide gave me a drink called ‘The Seagull’s Revenge.’ I don’t remember what was in it but I woke up with fries in my pocket and sand in my ears.”

“Drove through Shore Acres. Saw a kayak parked in a driveway next to a Prius. Not sure which one’s the backup.”